Stranger Than Truth
by Bombshell1701
Summary: The team try to wrap their heads around the prospect of a movie being made of their adventures. The cast list of the film causes some mixed reactions. Silly one-shot, basically set after the first Avengers movie, but touches on the non-canon roster I've previously used. So, mostly MCU. Feedback is appreciated, I hope the story makes you smile!


**Stranger Than Truth**

"Avengers, assemble! Rec Room, now" Cap's voice called over the intercom.

From their various places in Stark Tower, his team-mates looked up, stood up, and hastened to the rec room.

They had been waiting for this call.

They were all ready.

"It's been announced, finally" Cap sighed, as his team-mates hurried into the room. There was a grim look on his face.

"You think they would let us know first, as a courtesy" Natasha said flatly.

Tony shrugged, and slid his hands into his pockets. 'I guess they felt our input wasn't important."

"These are our lives they're messing with" Bruce complained, frowning and shaking his head.

"Yeah, and there's totally a million ways this could go wrong" Barton seethed.

Thor huffed a breath, and forced a smile "Perhaps we're all taking this too seriously. It could… be good for us" he reasoned.

Tony gave him a sceptical look "You don't understand the significance of this, big guy."

"But you will" Natasha added.

"Oh yes… you will" Bruce sighed.

Cap folded his arms over his chest. He nodded reassuringly to the team. "All right. Let's just get this over with."

"JARVIS, can you put IMDB on the main screen, we may need it. And then bring them up as Steve reads them out" Tony asked the AI.

"Certainly, sir" JARVIS responded.

The launch screen of the Internet Movie Database opened on the main TV screen. All eyes in the room turned to it.

"All right," Steve picked up the tablet and began reading the media release.

"Monumental Pictures, in association with Lamont Films Incorporated…etc. and so on... happy to announce the official cast line-up for _The Avengers Movie_ "

Barton groaned "That's what they're calling it?"

"That is a terrible title" Thor said, frowning.

"And" Tony said, making a gesture with his hands for Steve to continue. "Cut to the chase..."

"Playing Tony Stark..." Steve began-

"Not George Clooney! Not George Clooney" Tony muttered under his breath.  
"What do you have against George Clooney?" Barton asked.

'Terrible Batman" Tony said seriously. Clint grimaced and nodded agreement.

"Oscar Isaac as Iron Man" Steve announced.

Tony folded his arms and considered the actor that JARVIS had brought up on screen. The other held their tongues, giving Tony a moment to ponder the casting choice.

"Yes" Tony said decisively. "Very yes. He's great. Great actor, great singer, and damn if he isn't a handsome son-of-a-gun! I approve!"

Everyone in the room laughed lightly.

"Okay" Steve made to continue.

"Oh, wait! Who's playing Pepper?" Tony wanted to know.

"Uh…" Steve muttered, scroll through the announcement to find the information. "Lupita Nyong'o?" he announced.

"Oh, yes!" Tony said, clearly pleased. "She's stunning! Absolutely stunning!"

"Tony!' Steve objected to Tony's smarmy tone.

"She's a great actress, too" Tony said very seriously.

Thor had been studying the picture of the actress on screen, and looked puzzled. "She is certainly very attractive, and has some excellent credits to her name, but… she doesn't really _look_ like Miss Potts" he said delicately.

Tony shrugged. "Pepper won't mind. Actually, she'll be psyched, she loves Lupita's red carpet sartorial style!"

Bruce and Natasha murmered in agreement. "Very good choice" Bruce murmured.

Natasha nodded her head. "Okay, we're off to a good start, I guess."

Barton snorted "Can't wait to see who's play you," he said softly to his best friend. She flashed him a smile and gave him a shove. He grinned and swatted her hands away.

"Okay, Cap… who's playing you?" Barton asked.

"Uh… Armie Hammer?" he said quizzically. "That's quite a name. _Armand_ Hammer" he ennunciated.

"Sounds like he should be playing _me_!" Thor said with a grin.

Steve turned and looked at the picture of the blonde, American actor on the screen.

"He's pretty darn handsome, Cap" Natasha assured Steve.

Steve shrugged his shoulders. 'I guess… but… it shouldn't just be about looks. He'll need more than that to play me, right?" Steve asked nervously.

"No one could ever fill your shoes, Steve. But hey, he played the Prince in that Snow White movie, so they're on the right track" Clint said with a smile.

Steve ducked his head and chuckled lightly. "Sure. Sounds perfect."

"Not The Rock, then, huh?" Tony teased.

"Sadly, no" Steve said, shaking his head. Bruce looked incredulously at him.

"I think The Rock is cool" Steve said, shrugging his shoulders. 'He could have played me."

Bruce smiled at Tony, who nodded quite seriously.

Steve shook his head sadly, and turned his attention back to his team-mates. "Thor… being played by Alexander Skarsgard"

"Oh, yeah" Natasha said with a laugh. 'That's some good casting!"

Thor considered the actor who would play him, and then ran his eye over the actor's bio. "Ah, he's Swedish, and quite tall! Excellent!" he pronounced.

Everyone in the group laughed.

"Bruce Banner, _The Hulk_ will be played by... Edward Norton."

Everyone murmured in agreement, save for Tony. He peered at Bruce.

"He doesn't seem very… _Hulk_ like" Tony said knowingly.

Bruce shrugged modestly "It's always the quiet ones. And the CGI"

Tony smiled. "He's a great actor, very cool"

"He'll be good" Bruce agreed.

"C'mon, are you up to Natasha yet?" Barton wanted to know.

Steve nodded. "Playing Secret Agent Natalia Romanova (Natasha made a scoffing noise at this) Emily Blunt."

"Emily Blunt?" Clint said incredulously. "Oh my god, she's not even close! She's posh and English!"

"Are you kidding? Did you see _Edge of Tomorrow_?" Natasha asked.

Clint thought for a moment "Oh yeah. She was pretty fierce in that."

"And _Sicario_. That was fantastic" Steve agreed with Nat.

'Yeah, she was excellent" Natasha enthused. "Throw a red wig and a catsuit on her, she'll be great"

Barton shrugged. "Okay" he conceded. He watched Steve. "What about me, Cap? Gimmie the bad news"

Steve pretended to scroll up and down the article. "Um… you're not on here, Barton" he said quietly. "I think maybe they're not putting Hawkeye in the team," Steve said, looking uncomfortable.

"What?" Barton said, looking wary. "That's crap! Why wouldn't they… that's a load of-" he broke off when he noticed Steve grinning at him. "You've been hanging out with _Emily Blunt_ , here, too much!" Clint said, gesturing to Nat. She chuckled.

"In all seriousness, though, Clint "Hawkeye" Barton, will be played by noted Korean actor, Park Hae-Il."

The picture that came up on the IMDB site showed the actor in historical garb, holding a bow and arrow.

"Ah, so he's known for playing an legendary archer in a Korean film, so now he's playing an awesome, boss-ass archer in an American film. That works" Barton said, nodding. "And he was in _The Host_."

"Love that movie" Tony chimed in.

Thor peered at Clint. "No offence, my friend, but...I don't see the resemblance."

"Who cares. Long as he has mad bow skills, it's all good. I'll train him myself if I have to. make sure we look good." He nodded, pleased with himself.

Thor shrugged.

"Well… there you go. They're gonna make a mockery of us, but at least there's some award winners in the line-up" Steve said with a sigh. He put the tablet on the table.

"Wait, that's all?" Natasha wondered. "What about all the other players? Nick Fury, Rhodey, Carol, JARVIS… And who's playing the villain?"

"Villain hasn't been announced yet" Steve said flatly. 'Guess they want some build up."

"Hang on a sec, there's always more to the story" Tony said. He picked up the tablet and did some searching. 'Let's go to the official unofficial sources." he read for a moment and his eyebrows slowly rose. "Well, looks like they're taking this diversity thing seriously… apparently they're poised to cast Viola Davis… as Director Fury" he said in an interested tone.

The group gave a murmured mix of reactions.

"I don't understand. Viola Davis is a woman, yes? And Director Fury... is a man. That's a significant change..." Thor said thoughtfully.

"Wonder what Fury will think of that" Banner wondered.

"Oh, he'll love it" Natasha said casually.

Banner looked surprised.

"Yeah. He won't actually care, and he loves her show" Barton agreed.

Thor still looked baffled, so Natasha gave him a quick catch-up on attempts at diversification in the media. Thor made a noise of comprehension, as the various pieces of the casting puzzle fell into place.

"And beside, if anyone can pull off a Nick Fury level of badassedness, it'll be Viola Davis. She's already called out Hollywood on its gender and ageist BS. So this is perfect" Natasha said, the corner of her mouth hitching up in a sly smile. Thor nodded and looked rather pleased.

Tony was still digging. "What else… no mention of Rhodey, though my money's on Colin Salmon. Well, that's who I would cast" Tony said, flicking through articles. "Ah, Jude Law is rumoured to be doing the voice of JARVIS. What do you think of that?" Tony asked the AI.

"Aside from his rather chequered personal life, he is a very skilled and versatile actor. I think my voice will be in good hands... as it were…" JARVIS told them.

"I like Jude Law" Tony agreed as he continued to research. "Here we go...more casting rumours… no details yet if Ms Marvel will make the script, but Katheryn Winnick seems to be the popular choice if she does."

"Oh, yes" Barton breathed. he whipped around to look at Thor. "That's the woman who plays Lagertha in Vikings."

Thor's eyes lit up. "She's magnificent. Yes, she would make an excellent Carol" Thor enthused.

"Wait…" Steve said. "Barton, you got Thor into watching Vikings?"

Barton shrugged.

"He did. I enjoy it very much. It is surprisingly accurate, for the most part" Thor admitted.

Steve looked from Thor to Barton. Barton smiled triumphantly.

"I wonder if my Jane will make an appearance in the film" Thor asked aloud, a tiny smile playing on his lips.

"No mention… but it could happen" Tony told him with a shrug.

"Who would you cast to play her?" Steve asked.

Thor thought for a moment, and then nodded. "Audrey Hepburn."

Everyone chuckled lightly and grinned at the Asgardian.

"That's a good call, but… that's not really gonna be possible" Bruce said gently.

"I know" Thor admitted. "I understand that she has left this mortal realm. But if ever there were anyone who had the grace, charm, and intelligence to play Doctor Jane Foster, it would have been Audrey Hepburn." he said, very matter-of-factly.

"That's sweet" Steve murmured. Tony gestured for his attention.

"Cap, you'll like this-" Tony began. "Rumoured… just a rumour, mind you… to be making a cameo in a flashback sequence, as Captain Roger's long lost love, Peggy Carter, rising star Daisy Ridley…"

"Daisy Ridley" Steve whispered. "She was Rey in Star Wars!" he enthused. "Oh wow, yeah… she'd be perfect! She's English, she's got those dark eyes and so much inner strength… yeah… I'd like her as Peggy."

"Simmer down, fanboy… it's just a rumour" Tony teased. "And besides, it's also just a movie, so it's not like you'll actually be working with her yourself."

"I know!" Steve reasoned, dropping his face to hide the blush that was threatening.

"Well, hey, I don't see why Steve couldn't get in on the action" Natasha began. "You pretty much started your career as an actor, didn't you? All those Captain America propaganda films. You could take it up again!"

"No thanks!" Steve said dryly.

"Actually, I don't see why not" Bruce joined in on the gentle teasing. 'Bet you could get an agent…"

"I could make some calls. Get that Hammer guy kicked off, replaced by you, playing yourself" Tony said, hiding a smile.

"You guys are the worst" Steve said, blushing furiously. he should never have shown Tony the character sketches he'd made of Rey (and BB-8!) after they'd seen the new film.

"Don't quit your day job, Steve" Natasha pleaded. "If you hit the big time, this idiot will be in charge" she added, pointing at Tony.

Tony nodded "That would be terrible."

"I was a terrible actor, so don't worry' Steve said wryly. "I always looked into the camera."

"Well, they don't have to worry about us giving them acting advice, but do you think they'll want… you know… _us_ advice?" Bruce said uneasily.

The team fell silent as they each considered this.

"I'm down with that. Hell, I expect no less than a set tour, at the very least!" Barton chimed in.

"I don't know… I think it could be very cringe-inducing. What is they go all _Method_ on us?" Natasha said, frowning. She shuddered. "Actors"

"I'm taking my guy out to lunch" Tony stated. "Maybe tour him around Stark Industries. Get him tinkering with me in the lab. Show him what I'm all about."

"Poor guy" Bruce muttered. "Try to not blow him up?"

Tony poked his tongue out at his friend.

"Well, I think this all very amusing. From what I've seen of Midgardian filmed entertainments, we will make for an exciting adventure story" Thor enthused.  
"Well, we sure do have some stories to tell" Nat said, smiling at the group.

"You got that right…" Steve said, surveying his team with a small smile, "Their fiction couldn't possibly be stranger than _our_ truth."

 _Fin_

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Author's Notes

I'd been thinking about this one for a while, and it amused me, so I decided to jot it down. Almost pierced the 4th wall, almost! A few words on my casting choices… I had a lot of fun thinking these up.

The attempts being made in comics etc. to diversify ethnicities/genders/religions is a good step in the right direction. I wanted to acknowledge that by making some particular casting choices here. Gender-swapping Nick Fury is a little controversial, but you can't tell me that Viola Davis would not kick all the arse as Nicole Fury! I like the idea. Lupita would be a great alternate Pepper, and Korean actor Park Hae-Il really has played an archer, so he was a shoo-in.

Oscar Isaac as Tony, yes, I know Isaac is playing Apocalypse in the next X-Men movie, but if Cevans can transition from Fox to Marvel/Disney… also Isaac is really popular at the moment, so it made sense in my brain.

Also, Oscar Isaac with a goatee. You're welcome.

I saw the _The Man From UNCLE_ re-boot and noticed Armie Hammer being all big, blonde and handsome, so, yeah. Alexander Skarsgard was a no-brainer. And Emily Blunt was the original choice for Black Widow, but dropped out due to scheduling problems.

I struggled to think of who to mention as Bruce Banner, then it occurred to me to use another actor who'd played that role. I laughed so hard. I'm hilarious! My boyfriend was convinced that JARVIS was voiced by Jude Law, until IMDB told him otherwise. Colin Salmon is a classy, handsome British actor, so I figured he'd be a nice choice for Rhodey (if he makes the cut!) And I intentionally had to drop in a mention of Katheryn Winnick playing Ms Marvel. If they cast to type, she is my #1 choice for the role. Do yourself a favour, and check out Vikings, she is fantastic. And Steve has a little crush on Daisy Ridley after Star Wars, because I have a little crush on Daisy Ridley after Star Wars.

Important note: There are a lot of movies/TV shows/characters/ actual people mentioned. I own nothing, am entitled to nothing, and have nothing but respect for everything and everyone that cropped up in this story.

PS 100 points to whomever picks out the ridiculous _Singin' In the Rain_ reference I snuck in….


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